In last month’s column we asked the question, what do you do when you don’t know what you want? When you don’t know what you are seeking? Knowing what you really want comes more clearly when you have a better picture of who you are. Not only who you are as in mother, daughter, nurse, but also who you are at the deepest levels. This is what you are seeking –who you really are.

In case you don’t know, at your deepest level, you are a spiritual being having a human experience. You need to remember this constantly. Knowing this is the most energizing and empowering thought you can ever have. Knowing this helps you to remember that you are here for higher purposes and higher ways of being. Knowing this you are reminded that there is something bigger than you at work in this universe. Knowing this you trust and let go a bit more and learn not to be so afraid. Marianne Williamson says, “When we have become who we are supposed to be, we will know what it is we’re supposed to do. And when we remember that we are spiritual beings, we will have the courage to do it.” Knowing our truest and deepest essence energizes and enhances our lives. But a lot of us have forgotten.

I once heard a story that each of us comes into this life as a
pristine, pure, flawless diamond. And, through the trial of
growing up and the course of life’s pains, our innate brilliance
becomes hidden by a load of rubbish.

If we are lucky, life presents us with a gift –
a “wake up call”. Something takes place,
when for a moment we crack through the hardened surface,
look past the layers of muck, and catch a glimpse
of the radiant brilliance shining from deep within.

Then, if we are very, very lucky, we spend the rest of our lives
journeying homeward back to this exquisite beauty and freedom.
We discover that we have always been, and will always be,
this pristine, flawless diamond.

This is your wake-up call,
your invitation to finally come home to who you really are.

You are that which you are seeking.

Brandon Bay, The Journey

This is the experience we are all seeking – the experience of knowing ourselves and others as the beautiful miracle that we each are and of knowing the importance of each and every one of us. We are all pure, pristine beautiful diamonds. This is our true nature. What you are and what you are seeking is underneath all the garbage. Think about it. Imagine a newborn baby. Then remember, we all come into this world as pure and pristine as a newborn baby. And underneath the layers we’ve accumulated, we still are.

I do a wonderful exercise with people that brings them to an instant awareness of who they really are and what’s most important to them. I ask you to list 12 roles you play in life, like mother, homemaker, sister, laundry person, etc. Then you are authoritatively instructed to bit by bit release and let go of a certain number of these roles. First you must drop four, then four more, then two, then you’re down to choosing one. People are sometimes surprised and enlightened with what goes quickly and what they can’t let go of? People often try to barter and manipulate the exercise. Immediately people see the dilemmas they have in all of the daily choices they must make. We have so many competing roles and daily we are asked to prioritize.

But this is our task, making choices in our daily lives that are in alignment with our deepest values. This is where life satisfaction comes from. There are many exercises to help you become more aware of who you are and how you want to be. Writing your own introduction is a wonderful exercise. Write with clarity about who you are, what’s important to you, where you’ve been, what you’re doing and why you’re doing what you’re doing as well as what your dreams are and your purpose. Then introduce yourself or imagine yourself being introduced. Imagine the sense of affirmation and confirmation from hearing out loud who you are and what you want – remembering to include all the levels of who you are.

Another wonderful exercise is to write your own eulogy. If you were to die today, what would people at your funeral say about you, about your life, your accomplishments, what you stood for? It would have to be honest. Is there something you wish people could say was true about you, but it’s not? Not yet. Now let’s say I tell you that you have five or even ten more years before you are going to die. With this advanced notice and having some time to prepare, now what would people be able to honestly say at your funeral? What would be the difference between today’s eulogy and the eulogy of the future? Stop and think about it. How would you be different if you knew you were going to die?

These exercises show you some of the gaps in your life, some of the things, qualities you have yet to express. They give you information for designing your life. If you had this type of self knowledge, what would you change given 10, 20 or 30 more years for your life? Here we begin to find our values, our desires, our yearnings, and maybe even our mission in life. Most of us do have 20 or maybe even 40 more years to live – which is a long time.

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.

George Elliot

From this day forward, in addition to asking what do you want to do with the rest of your life, ask yourself how do you want to be for the rest of your life? Are you living the life of your dreams, the life you were meant to be living? It’s never too late to ask these powerful questions and to begin to live your answers.