Being a life coach who specializes in helping people to “move their lives forward”, people are often surprised when my advice is to slow down and do nothing. When you don’t know what to do, one option is to do nothing.

This makes a lot of sense but it isn’t easy. We like knowing. We like doing. We are addicted to making things happen and moving things forward. But what do you do when you don’t know what direction to go in? When don’t remember what your heart’s desire is? What do you do when you’ve lost your vision for your life?

When I say do nothing, it’s really a paradoxical suggestion. Because when you stop doing, if even for only a short while, you are doing the most important personal work of all.

“If we step away for a time, we are not,
as many would accuse, being irresponsible,
but, rather, we are preparing ourselves…

Maya Angelou,
Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now

Your wisdom and guidance comes from deep inside and from listening with your heart, not from overthinking and certainly not from overdoing. Sometimes we just need to get still and wait for serendipity or grace or a synchronicity or two. Serendipity, grace, synchronicities – all of these are beautiful words to describe when the magic happens. You know those times – when suddenly things come together – the aha moments, the insights. the gifts of life. Sometimes they come in our dreams. Sometimes they come when we’re taking a walk or doing a mundane chore like cleaning the floor. Sometimes they come when the book you needed to read falls off the bookshelf and hits you on the head. Sometimes serendipity is running into just the right person and something magical and mysterious happens and our lives start to move. You begin to feel the flow of your life again.

If you are out of the flow of your life, stop swimming upstream. Slow down. Sometimes you just need to rest. I believe that most of us are really tired. We are physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. We need deep, replenishing rest. Yet we don’t give it to ourselves. Sometimes we get sick and are forced to slow down and get the rest we need. I am suggesting that we give it to ourselves before some crisis occurs.

In case you noticed, I skipped writing last month’s Designing Your Life column. I took the month off. Not only from writing this article, but from many things. I made the decision to give myself some extended time to get quiet and slow down. Last year I was very busy with so many (all good) things that revved up my life into a fast pace. This happens to all of us. We take on additional projects on top of our normally busy lives and before we know it we’re off and running. My husband and I built and moved into a new home (that I love). I wrote the manuscript for the Consider the Possibilities book. I did retreats and workshops all over the place and did a lot of work on our Retreats by Design business. I was coaching clients, running women’s groups, and writing programs. I also have a huge love affair going on with my husband.

While I adore all of this, around last December I found that the energy and the creativity was gone. I had gotten so caught up in the day to day chores and things-to-do, that I lost focus on the vision – the real things I was wanting for my life. And I was very tired. So I took a vacation and that certainly helped and I highly recommend vacations for everyone. However, I was still tired and still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my work. I couldn’t see the vision for my life. This is a critical point in life design. When you’ve lost your vision (and at times you will), what do you do?

You slow down and you wait. You begin the inner work of just being. You do the work of asking yourself the important questions of your life. You get still and you listen for answers, for insight, for clarity. I looked around my life and took inventory of what I could shelve for a while, what I could say no to, and what I really needed. First of all, I needed some careless time. Time to just be. Time with nothing to do. Nothing on the to-do list. You have to be the one to give yourself this because no one else will. In American culture, we are expected to be busy all the time. When I told a close friend what I was doing –“Nothing, as little as possible”– she said, “And you don’t feel guilty?”

I explained to her that I really wasn’t doing nothing but that I was resting, preparing and waiting. Waiting for serendipity, waiting for grace, waiting for guidance. I also told her that I was healing from a period of overdoing. I told her that I was taking time to do some of the solitary, quiet work of personal growth. I’ve been working less (the chores can wait), watching less TV, reading more, journaling daily, meditating, walking, and being very, very silent. There is no radio in the car or no ongoing noise in the house – except for the birds chirping.

There has been more communing with myself, God, and the Universe (and some loved ones). My daily affirmation is “I am open and receptive to the power of grace and wisdom in my life.” I made a vow not make any major decisions until I felt the impulse to move from deep within. I made a commitment to not do anything until I really knew what it was that I wanted to be doing and I have committed to have the courage to move forward with the information I receive. Now this is what life by design is all about!

So how’s my plan working? Have I gotten my visual clarity back? Not completely, although I am having more and more glimpses and images. I am remembering and recommitting to the values that I hold dearly. I am much less tired and feel much more excited and energized about my life. However, I am still allowing myself to wait choosing to trust that the direction will unfold within and before me and that I will recognize and respond to it when it does. In the meantime, I wanted to write this article for you. This is a good sign.