What Would I Do Today If I Were Brave….
This title is a line from an unbelievably empowering song by Jana Stanfield. Check it out on iTunes. I use it in all of my retreats and workshops when I ask people to dream big and envision the life of their dreams.
I am listening to it now as I am working through some early morning anxiety. You know, that free-floating anxiety that is right in front of your face and on top of your chest when you first wake up – those feelings of fear, dread, uncertainty. It always takes me by surprise.
I didn’t go to sleep anxious or worried last night. But as I look back – I was reading Joan Anderson’s A Year By the Sea about a woman who felt she had lost herself and lost her life’s direction, and actually goes AWOL and lives by herself in a cottage by the sea for an entire year. How brave she had to be!
You see, I am actively pursuing some big, lifetime dreams right now. Trust me when I say BIG ONES. I decided last year to finally go for It. I stepped out of the comfortable life I was living. Moved and everything. Worst yet, I brought my husband along on this journey. I asked him to take this huge leap of faith with me. (So when I get into one of my anxious states, I worry about whether I ruined his life too.)
The first thing that happens when I awaken in this anxious state is the old “fight or flight” response. I consider climbing deeper under the covers and sleeping all day, but anxiety doesn’t really lend itself to resting.
My next automatic response is go all intellectual. I try to make sense out of what’s going on by analyzing it. I try to figure out what I need TO DO! And this always comes with a great deal of urgency. As if there is anything TO DO at 6am.
Things I know to do:
1. Wake up.
Both literally and figuratively. Though it is the early hours of the morning, it is time to wake myself up. Turn on the light. Both literally and figuratively. Recognize that the monsters aren’t real. I say, “Oh, that’s just my old friend that I know so well…fear.”
2. Breathe.
I am still constantly amazed at how I forget to breathe. Of course I am breathing.
I’m still alive. But I’m talking about using those good deep breaths that cleanse and
center me. The best tools we all have for interrupting this physical anxiety is to remember to breathe….breathe…..breathe.
Again, breathe…..breathe…breathe. And again….
3. Remember.
Now it’s time to remember who I really am. Remember: I am spiritual being
having a human experience. Got it.
It’s also time to remember what I know – my purpose. I have chosen to make these changes in my life in order to answer my soul’s calling. This morning I happen to be in the middle of the land of uncertainty, not knowing exactly where I am on the path. This is why it’s called a leap of faith.
4. Pray.
Before my feet hit the floor, I have become disciplined in the practice of saying a short prayer of gratitude. I also often pray for guidance, but mainly, I want to come from a place of thankfulness. A gratitude prayer humbles me while at the same time infusing me with a sense of abundance and okayness.
5. Ask the Powerful Question: “What Do I Need Today?”
The question can vary everyday depending on what you need. Today, I need
courage. Today I need to feel my personal power. So, for me, the powerful question of the day is, “What would I do today if I were brave?”
From this grounded, centered, loving place, I hear the voice that says, “Kathy, it’s not so much what you need to do today. It’s that you need to continue to believe, To trust. To stay open. Remember that this is a choice in life you made. Stay with the plan.”
Ultimately, there may be something TO DO, but I’ve learned this should not be my first response. Instead I want to stop, breathe, and focus…to know what I really need. It’s more about remembering, reconnecting, and recommitting.
What’s the powerful question for you in your life today? What do you need today?
Are you anxious and in need of courage, ask yourself “What would I do today if I were brave?”
Are you lost and unclear and need direction, ask yourself, “What would I do today if I knew my life’s desire?” (Maybe not go AWOL, but who knows?)
What do you need to ask about your life from this grounded, centered place…your place of inner knowing and wisdom? What is the powerful question of your life today? 
I’d like to take this opportunity to encourage you to use our blog to express whatever you feel compelled to say or any question you would like to pose. If you bookmark this page, you can return and keep up with comments. We would love to hear from you.
2 Responses to “What Would I Do Today If I Were Brave….”
When i received this email a few days ago, I didn’t have time to read it. I knew it would evoke “active brain” and “tight chest” syndrome to read another word about what I should or rather would do if I wasn’t afraid. Just the mere thought of the word fear in relation to me and do can bring about a mild panic attack. I am not afraid to try new things, nor start new projects, but there are certain things I am petrified to do. They seem to be the very things I believe I care most deeply about doing. #1 item on the list is writing. Writing here is easy. Yet, the thought of truly finishing a writing project and submitting it for publication is much too risky for me. I have finally come to understand it is because it is the one thing I want so passionately that I cannot risk losing the dream by failure. I tell myself (way down deep in the mirky quagmire of care) that if I don’t try, it can always be a dream I just didn’t get to and what a shame ’cause I’d have been such a success at it. This fear is compounded when I have attempted, in the past, to write a finished piece for a class. I’m always disappointed when I finish. I don’t want to just write, I want to be as good as Pat Conroy, Anne Lamott or even my hero-Ernest Hemingway. When I am alone, when I am driving, when I am in the shower, when I am reading-that is when I find just a glimmer of hope that I will not let my fear disguise itself in the ugly costume of laziness forever. I hope someday soon I can stop saying when I can sit by the ocean I will…. Silly thing is, I live 5 minutes from it now and I don’t. I just can’t stop longing for that coffee on the screened porch with the salt air in my hair and a pen in one hand, dogs underfoot and my writer’s notebook on a wooden table while the aroma of lavender fills my nostrils when I breathe… just breathe.
Annalisa, What clarity you have about your writing block and I love how you are also so compassionate with yourself. You understand that this is something very tender and important to you. I’m wondering if blogging might be a place for you to write. Do you have one? I’d read it. As you know, you write beautifully and seems like writing here was possible. So, food for thought…..have you read A Year by The Sea? Maybe you could blog for a year by the sea! Of course, you’d give yourself permission to be Annalisa, not Conroy, Lamott or Hemingway…… with love, Kathy
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