Finding My Way Back

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There was a time when farmers on the Great Plain,
at the first sign of a blizzard,
would run a rope from the back door to the barn.
They all knew of stories of people
who had wandered off and been frozen to death,
having lost sight of home in a white-out while still in their backyards.

Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness

I feel like I’ve been in a blizzard, walking lost in my own backyard.  I know that I’m still in my backyard but I haven’t been able to see my way back to the house.   And I know exactly how I got lost. Nothing unusual or exotic happened, just the same old stuff. I’ve been working very hard this winter season and it’s been really cold outside. So I kinda went into a cave….I hibernated…I went to sleep.  I just put my head down, burrowed under all the work and didn’t look up to see where I was.

Now that I’m coming out of the fog,  I’m beginning to see my way again.  I know the ropes – I’ve been lost before (and probably will be lost again).    And just like you, I know how to find my way back.  Luckily, like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, we all have the power within to get us home again.

However, home is no longer a physical address.  It’s not the place you eat and sleep, but the place within you that knows your heart’s longings.   That inner place that is warm, nurturing, and nourishing to our souls.  The place that is the   truest and deepest expression of who we really are.

We are looking for the life of our dreams.  Not the life that our mother and father wanted for us, not the life that we wind up with through a series of defaults and bad choices, but the life that is uniquely programmed into our DNA, the life that is rightfully meant to be ours.

I now know exactly the paths which will take me home, back to myself.  I know the beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, habits and practices I need.     First I acknowledge that I have been wandering aimlessly (ie, too much stupid television) and then I take a second to celebrate that I am ready to wake up. Then one by one,  I begin to get back into my daily habits of reading, meditating and journaling.  (I don’t take all morning to do this, but if I will spend just 30 minutes on these things it will make a huge difference…. journaling alone will bring me back to myself).

I also understand the physical component of getting up and out and moving.  I am usually a disciplined walker. Truthfully, I walk 5-6 days a week for about an hour.  I love to walk.  But lately I haven’t walked at all.  I mysteriously hurt my shoulder somehow and walking (doing anything physical) really hurt.  So I stopped. Thankfully, it’s feeling better and  yesterday, I started again.  Just walking changes everything about my day.

Certainly I attribute a bit of this white-out to lack of Vitamin D sunshine.   I’ve actually started taking  more Vitamin D supplements during these months.  But also I sat in the sun on my front porch yesterday even though it was freezing.

I could go on and on about what I know I need to do to get back home. I have an entire list, a menu of things from what I read, to what I eat and drink, to the thoughts I hold onto.  I know what to do to take me  back to that place where my life feels good. Really good.  And I bet you do too.  But we forget and we get lost.  However, if you stop and think about it, you too know the ropes to grab that will lead you back home.

Powerful Question:

When’s the last time you felt lost out in the cold?   How did you find your way back home?

The Women’s Weekend Retreat is less than three weeks away. Come and join us as we stop and take some time to figure out our way home together.

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