Ask A Powerful Question – What Do You Want? Really?

I had the most wonderful experience this past Saturday. I had the opportunity to spend the morning with 16 fabulous, gorgeous, inspiring women at the Center for Women in Charleston. It was a mini-retreat – a step away from our regular activities into a space created solely for the purpose of reconnecting with self and others in a deep, meaningful, and purposeful way. It was such a special time.

It was a powerful time. Saturday morning, I asked this group of amazing women, “When was the last time someone asked you want you wanted? What you really wanted?” We all shook our heads knowingly when one woman said, “Never.” She said no one in her life ever asked her what SHE wanted. Another lady said that maybe at Christmas someone might ask her what she wanted.

My next question was “When was the last time you asked yourself what you wanted, what you really wanted?” And again, we acknowledged that we never ask ourselves either. We go through life day by day and moment by moment making the big and small decisions that shape our lives, yet when was the last time you stopped and did a heartfelt, honest list of what you really want for your life? Your wish list, your desires for your life.

One of the exercises on Saturday was to brainstorm a list of all the things we want. From the superficial and funny to our most intimate longings. Each of the 16 women wrote and wrote as I encouraged them to speak the unspeakable. They were told that they could have AS MANY DESIRES AS THEY WANTED! They were guided to go within and ask, “What do I want?” and then they were given the space and the time to answer… without censorship and without judgement.

Next they got the opportunity to sit up straight, feet on the ground, with courage and heart, and read their list of desires, longings, and wishes out loud to each other. Imagine how powerful that could feel.

The responses to this experience were exhilarating. You could see the fires being relit. And the fire became very intense as we dug for the deeper meaning…that which we are really seeking. We explored “why we want what we want.” We practiced deep listening and deep talking.

As we shared, we realized there are universal themes that we all want. We all have longings for peace, and not just world peace, but inner peace. We each seemed to long to love well and to be loved well. Most of us long for some deep rest. And we each ache for connection to ourselves, others, and a higher meaning.

Through this process of identifying what we want, deepening why we want what we want, and speaking our wishes out loud, now our wishes, desires and wants have become tremendously empowered. We no longer have wants, we now have purpose and meaning. Now we are aware of what it is that we REALLY want.

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living,
I want to know what you ache for.”
Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Powerful Question: Brainstorm a list of what your want. From the practical to the unbelievable, unimaginable. Let yourself want all of your possibilities. Then review your list and dig deeper, ask yourself “Why do I want this?” What feeling do I hope this will create for me? What am I seeking?”

You are invited to share your wants with others by commenting below – this is another way to speak your desires and longings out loud.

My new book, Your Possible Life, is now available on Amazon.

Also, the next Women’s Weekend Retreat is scheduled for Oct. 14-16, 2011. Sign up now for early registration rates.

Here are some pictures from the event last Saturday at The Center for Women.