We All Have To Do It!
Our 26 year old daughter has been visiting us for the past week. After graduating from college and a year traveling in South America, she went out west to California to find her fortune. While she LOVES San Francisco and is extremely bright and energetic,she still wonders what it is she wants to do with her life. One morning on her visit, she came to breakfast looking exhausted and said she’d had insomnia all night. She had been tossing and turning with all the questions and the possibilities. Being 26, she sees herself having many choices, and while she is a fearless personality, she just wasn’t able to see the plan for her life.
It was a lot of fun working with her to help her come to some clarity about how she could move forward in her life. The big life lesson for her was “being willing” to not have the whole picture or a guarantee, but to be willing to listen and trust her inner guidance and to take the next steps before her. After taking time to do the inner work, I think she returned to San Francisco with a renewed confidence and philosophy about how to move forward.
This morning my husband showed me his to-do list for the day: Plan the next stage of my life. Now our daughter is 26 and my husband is in his 60′s. Isn’t it interesting that their compelling questions at these very different times in their lives are the same? Who am I really, now? What do I really want, now? And knowing this, how shall I live…now?
When I teach my clients about life design, I continually remind them that life design is an ongoing process. You don’t do it once, and that’s it. Our dreams and our desires change, flow, and grow with each season of our lives, and we are constantly in the business of having to make conscious choices everyday about how we are going to be. There is no such thing as having one grand plan that suits you throughout your entire life.
Things change.
We change.
$#*&$* happens.
Best laid plans get derailed.
We need the consciousness and the skills to do the deep and intimate work of designing the life of our dreams everyday!
There’s an old story of the priest who was stopped on the bridge by a sentry with a rifle. The sentry cried, “Halt….Who are you? What do you want? And where are you going?” The priest was taken back but after a few minutes returned to the sentry and replied, “I don’t know the answers to your questions, but I’ll give you $100 if you will make me stop and answer those questions every day.”
It’s not only my husband and daughter that are in the midst of these profound times in their lives, I am too. I keep an eye constantly on how my life is working for me. And just like I encouraged my beautiful young daughter to remember what’s important to her, to have faith and courage to move forward, to be willing to figure it out as she goes; I am reminded that these principles work for me too.
I told our daughter that journaling on a daily basis is the best tool I have found to keep me on track. Stopping and taking the time to ask the powerful questions of our lives will pay off…..journaling provides us with the fuel and the insight to know who we are, what we want, and where we’re going. 
If we want to be fulfilled, satisfied, and living the life of our dreams, we all have to do it. We have to ask and answer the powerful questions and find the courage to move forward. (Well, maybe not our friend’s baby in the picture…that’s the only one of the four of us who gets a break from asking the questions!)
We all need a reliable process that helps us to do this work.
What’s your process?
What do you do when wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep?
How do you go about the work of asking yourself everyday….
How am I doing? Am I living the life I am meant to be living?
Is it time for a change? Has life changed on me?
Who am I now and where do I go next?
Take a moment, sit down with a journal and ask yourself these questions….answer from your wisdom, your heart, and your courage. Then read your own guidance.
You know the answers…and you are the only one who does!
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6 Responses to “We All Have To Do It!”
I love this piece. Such knowledge and wisdom. Tara is so very fortunate to have you in her life! Hell, we all are!
Hi Jennifer, One day you will have to be helping Sullivan (the beautiful baby in the picture) figure out who she is and how she wants to live. All the while figuring it out for yourself. I know you are going through a lot of transitions in your life…..get a journal….stop and remember….then find the courage to take the next steps. With love, Kathy
Hi Dr. Kathy, This article shows up at the perfect time..imagine that..as I again find myself trying to go even deeper to know the answer to the questions..What do I REALLY want…how do I want to live my life now. To find my true longing, my true self..Yes I have been doing this work with Dr. Kathy a long time,still honing in on my inner wisdom to light my way…Still don’t have an answer but feeling a huge shift coming my way…How Exciting
Thanks Mom, for including my journey in your piece. I’m so fortunate to have such supportive and insightful parents to help me as I find my path. Its a very good point that you bring up that the more we try to orchestrate our lives in advance the more curveballs it seems the universe throws at us. We have to be willing to open ourselves to opportunities as they present themselves if we are to truly grow as individuals.
Dr. Kathy, I have been struggling with this same issue for most of my life it seems, and I just celebrated my 46th birthday. Instead of it being a happy time, it seems to present to me all the things I have NOT YET DONE. What have I been waiting for? I have all the powers at my fingertips and I know what to do, so right then and there I made a decision to stop whining about it and GO FOR IT!. My journaling started again, my love for Jesse flowed and the direction that I seemed to be lacked found its way. School became fun again and more opportunities to be useful to others became apparent to me. Thank you for opening my eyes to the beautiful world around me again that is filled with possibilities…Tara is a blessed young woman and I miss seeing you each Saturday..Take Care, Julie
Julie, I always love your posts. It fuels my work when I see people being inspired by my questions. (And besides, you always were such a good student.) Keep at it. You do have all the powers at your fingertips….you are the only one who has the power. Writing is such a powerful tool….and I love you taking advantage of writing on the blog. People will read about your journey and be inspired. Likewise to Brenda, you are so doing the work….I know you are mindful everyday about who you are and what you really want. It’s a pleasure to be a part of your journey.
And what can say to Tara, I’ve been a part of your journey since the day you were born. You are my inspiration on how to be a powerful woman. Keep going for it. LOVE YOU. Mom
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