What Do You Do When You Don’t Know?
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Note of Caution: There will be times in our lives when the dreams aren’t there, the visions don’t come, and the faith is weak. Sometimes you’re more receptive, more able, and more open and ready. Some days, it’s just simply too much – not today. Some days the best you can do is just putting one foot in front of the other; left foot, right foot, breathe, breathe, breathe. Some days that’s all we can manage, and that’s okay. What then? Given that I’m a life coach who specializes in helping people to “move their lives forward”, people are often surprised when my advice is to slow down and do nothing.
If you don’t know what to do, one option is to do nothing at all.
This makes a lot of sense, but it isn’t easy. We like knowing. We like doing. We are addicted to making things happen and moving things forward. I’m all for that. But what do you do when you genuinely don’t know what direction to go in? When you don’t remember what your heart desires? What do you do when you’ve lost your vision for your life? My advice is to do
nothing.
When I say do nothing, it’s really a paradoxical suggestion, because when you stop doing, even for only a short while, you are doing the most important personal work of all. When we stop doing and moving so much, we may be able to hear the small, inner voice. Your wisdom and guidance, your most possible life, comes from deep inside and from listening with your heart, not from over-thinking and certainly not from overdoing. Sometimes we just need to get still, listen, and maybe wait for serendipity or grace, or a synchronicity or two.
Serendipity, grace, synchronicities – all of these are beautiful words used to describe when the magic happens. You know those times – when suddenly things come together – the “aha!” moments, the insights, the energy, the gifts of life. They turn up when we’re simply taking a walk or doing a mundane chore like cleaning the floor.
Synchronicities are those unexplained and fortunate coincidences, like when the very book you need for something just mysteriously appears. Or when someone you meet in line at a party turns out to be exactly the person you need to meet for some reason. At these moments, something magical and mysterious happens, and our lives start to move with the flow again. This is what serendipity feels like, when everything fits and flows.
When there is no flow in your life, at the very least, stop swimming upstream. Slow down. Sometimes you just need to rest. I believe that most of us are really tired. We are physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. We need deep, replenishing rest. Yet we don’t give it to ourselves.
When you’ve lost your vision, when you can’t see the next steps, now what? Slow down and wait. Begin this inner work of just being. Begin by asking yourself powerful questions. Then get still and listen. Listen for the wisdom of your life.
Powerful Questions: When you find yourself (as we all do at one time or another) not knowing where to go, what to do, even how to think….what do you do?
Remember a synchronicity, a serendipity or a grace that happened and opened the flow in your life.
I had a wonderful time these past two days out and about promoting the new book. Look for a couple of other book signing events coming this month.
Also, the next Women’s Weekend Retreat is scheduled for Oct. 14-16, 2011. Sign up now for early registration rates.
One Response to “What Do You Do When You Don’t Know?”
Dear Kathy,
This was such a great post for me to read. The “not knowing” thing is really hard for me. Having been out of work for some time now, I started allowing fear and insecurity to slowly creep it’s way inside of me and take root. I am usually a strong believer in faith, trusting that everything will be fine, however, after about six months of (not so patiently) waiting, I began to really start being afraid. That’s when I felt I was paralized by my fear and was spiraling into a place of hopelessness and a sense of being overwhelmed.
The place I had to get to was a place of being still and surrendering my will, plans and life to God, knowing and accepting that I had to let go of the tight fist of control I was holding onto. This place of stillness, quiteness, and surrender that I had to come to, was necessary for me so that I could step back, let go and let God take over. Yes, I still am sending out resumes on a daily basis, however, the panic and fear are no longer my daily companions as I move forward into a new phase of my life. After taking this shift to stop, be still and rest, surprisingly, I feel a new found strength and a sense of peace as I take each day as it comes and surrender it to God.
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