Learn to Love the Questions
In conversation last week with someone that I love and that loves me, she said, “You ask too many questions.” She said “People don’t want to have to think that hard. They want you to just tell them.” And she goes on to say that people just want to hear the 3 easy steps how-to do, well, anything and everything.
Really?
I don’t believe that. We may think we do, but do we really? After all, I’m not teaching people how to download a computer file, but how to hear their own wisdom and live their own, authentic lives. I’m teaching people that no one else holds the answers to your life. Right?
Yes, there is absolutely a need for facts, information, and other’s perspectives. But actually, don’t we really get a lot of that already? People and sources are telling us all the time what they think. And they are more than willing to tell us what we should think… about almost everything, including ourselves. But how can anyone else know what is true for us?
What Do You Think?
This abundance of information and opinion in the world is all well and good as long as – at the same time – we are stopping for a moment and also asking ourselves, “What do I feel/think about what I just heard/read?” “What does this mean for me and my life?” “Is this true for me?” “What do I need to do next?”
And there are even bigger questions like, “What do I believe in? What is of value to me? And, the most important question of all, am I living my life according to what I believe?” These can be really difficult questions.
Why Don’t We Like Questions?
I believe that people don’t like questions because they don’t like not readily having the answers. And most of the time we don’t readily have the answers. The answers to the important questions of our lives can be elusive and hard to unearth.
However, I contend, you will not find answers, until you learn to love the questions.
Can We Learn to Love the Questions?
Being willing to love the questions is to be willing to ponder, to wonder, to internalize, and to claim what is going on in your life. It’s about being willing to openly explore your own inner world, what you think, feel and desire. Being willing to not know. Being willing to search for truth and wisdom, particularly yours.
Learn to ask good questions. That’s what all of my questions are all about. I believe good questions open us up to who we really are and what we really want. Good questions are the portal to our inner world. They open the door to your creativity, to the possibilities.
I say to my dear friend, let’s learn to love the questions. Even the hard 
questions. Learn to stop and ask the powerful questions and to look within for the wisdom of your own heart and your own life. Learn to think for yourself.
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Tags: asking powerful questions, What you really want
8 Responses to “Learn to Love the Questions”
I can’t say that I love the questions because like your friend I want the answers. I don’t always have them and if I sit with that feeling I’d say I feel sad and inadequate. However, I remind myself that it is OK not to have the answers. They will come in their own time; it is all a part of my journey.
Just recently, I had rec’d some news where I was not chosen for something which had a lot of potential for me, & for others. I was “mulling-over” different aspects of the decision made, my feelings about it all, & what it meant for me. Then, a friend asked a very important question: What is your long-range goal, & what are you gonna do to work towards that goal? W/ lightning speed, I was able to shift-over to moving-forward, vs. staying focused on things that very-well could have kept me stuck.
I am also in the process of “downsizing”. In this process, I am actually forced to ask many questions, which cause me to: narrow my priorities, learn from my past, recognize how far I’ve come, what issues continue to evolve, & how important my faith has been, & is to me.
Kathy, love this article. What’s the saying? Be still and you shall know. But some people just aren’t comfortable going there. But if they tried, then tried again soon they would discover that anything they need to know… questions they need answered would be revealed to them. Our truth comes from inside. Our hearts don’t lie.
Best,
Pattie
I love all the comments. We all know, even though uncomfortable, the answers lie in being willing to ask the questions and also being willing to wait for an answer. And this isn’t easy. But oftentimes it is exactly what is necessary.
Another friend sent me this quote in my email box. Pamela gave me permission to share it with you.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” {Rilke}
So, here’s to living the questions. Let’s not ever stop asking or allowing others to provoke us with questions. They are good for the unfolding of the soul.
Wonderful and provocative Kathy! I bit the bullet in March and listed my comfortable home for sale. I know that it is time to move on, yet for the past eleven years, this place has been my sanctuary.
I grew a business here, loved and lost my fifteen-year-old muse, Miss Kitty (due to cancer). I also poured my heart, soul, and inheritance into renovating this house YET, I continue to feel the tug; here I am adrift not knowing.
When I begin to tense I remind myself that ALL THINGS are temporary, and I must trust my gut and that includes not knowing.
Perhaps this is what is known as blind faith–faith in one’s self.
I ALWAYS love the questions!!! I may not have any of the answers but I love the thoughts and feelings they conjure up!
Hi Diane, Sounds like the decision to finally sell your house came after a long period of not knowing and just continuing to ask yourself the questions…until the answer came. And even then, it wasn’t easy. Yet, you felt the tug, you heard the answer, and you found the faith to let it move you forward. May all blessings be with you. And keep us posted on what beautiful things unfold for you.
And Beth, I too ALWAYS love the questions. I believe I live in the questions, and then also in the possibilities!
Great post Kathy. My feeling has always been that one needs to prepare for the consequences of the answer, before you ask the question. In other words,steel yourself…this could be hard one! Particularly if you have a firm commitment to the truth. But it’s all a part of moving forward and that’s a direction we should all move into .:)
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