Moving as a Spiritual Experience
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot take;
courage to leave the things I can;
and wisdom to know what I really need.
I hope Reinhold Niebuhr will forgive me for taking liberties with his beloved Serenity Prayer. I can’t think of a more necessary time for a serenity prayer. We are moving!
I don’t mean to make this sound like something horrible or disasterous that has been imposed upon me. This is a conscious decision that my husband and I made. This is me walking my talk. You see I teach people to know what they really want and to then have the courage to make the decisions and changes necessary to be living their truest lives.
We have been talking about downsizing for a long time. There’s just the two of us and we have a lot of space for two people and a lot of STUFF. We’ve fantasized about letting go of the clutter and the excess. You know, all the unnecessary things that take up physical, emotional, and financial energy.
So, once again, we decided to live according to what we say is important to us. We are moving into a condo that is 1/2 the size of the house we currently live in. We like the idea of a condo because one of our other dreams is to travel. A “lock and leave” condo allows us to do that without the concerns of keeping up a house. (Have you ever tried to keep up a three story old historic house? I won’t go into the details.)
But, that’s not the story. The story is that letting go of stuff is not as easy as I had hoped. Deciding what I need vs. what I want….realizing what is clutter and what is of value….is a true life design exercise. It requires taking time to be very thoughtful about what is necessary for our new life design. What is important enough to make the cut? It’s the ultimate question of “What do I really want?”
Does anyone need 30 flower vases? Yes, tucked in the bottom of a hall closet, I have stashed flower vases. You know all of the ones that come with flower arrangements. Small ones, big ones, identical ones. How many flower vases will I need to live a fulfilling life? And which ones do I love enough to keep?
I am going through this process with everything in my home. We thought about cheating and getting a storage unit to just hide stuff away but decided to stay the course and just keep repeating our new Mover’s Serenity Prayer. We chant: “Remember the dream. Let it go. Give it to someone who will actually use it.”
So, here’s the spiritual awakening for me…. What has all this hoarding been about? Why have I hung on to so much stuff that has just filled up my life and taken up my space? Those old phrases of “I might need it later”, or “This is too valuable to just get rid of”, or “But I like it…” have run their course. The gig’s up.
Now is the time to do a cleansing. Cleaning out a house is just a metaphor for the cleansing that needs to go on in many areas of my life. I have become aware that my stuff has keep me preoccupied and has kept me away from emptiness.
Now that half of everything is gone, there is a lot of empty space. I walk around this big old house and feel the emptiness. I feel a sense of loss. I feel the anxiety that comes with making big changes – even well-thought out, divinely inspired ones. But, for today, I am keeping my eye on the prize. I am staying focused on what I really want.
And I am praying a lot.
Powerful Question?
Is there clutter in your life that needs to be cleaned out?
Are you holding on to stuff you no longer need?
What is taking up your emotional or physical space?
What’s your plan? Hope you don’t have to move!
Tags: downsizing, Reinhold Niebuhr, Serenity Prayer
12 Responses to “Moving as a Spiritual Experience”
I had to laugh out loud when I read your post. I feel your pain, having moved to a smaller house 600 miles away. I too, had 30 flower vases neatly arranged on a shelf in my garage. I thought that I had saved a few, but the other day I couldn’t even find one! I am sending blessings your way…you are truly an inspiration! Remember, just breathe…
Wish I’d received this about a year ago. That’s when we began the process of decluttering, cleaning-up, fixing-up, and hopefully beautifying. This all in preparation for putting our house (after 25 years) on the market in order to downsize and move on with our lives. The house went on the market a couple months ago. Keeping up with not cluttering and staying neat and tidy is ???. We still have too much STUFF and a storage unit with too many vases,beloved china,etc. -God, grant me the seerenity–LOVE & HUGS,syl
Experiencing a big move to Charleston and downsizing our house of 20 years was major….what to take, what to leave weighed heavy at times, but each day was a new day full of decisions and possibilities. One of the hardest things to part with was my baby grand piano. However, after much deliberation I decided it was time and we really had no place to put it. The dreaded day arrived when the piano movers were coming…I really did not want to be there when they moved it out of our house, however due to scheduling issues, it was up to me. I’ll never forget that day because after the movers left, As I looked at the empty spot in our living room and the carpet with the indentations from the heavy piano legs, I felt this huge weight (literally) being lifted from my shoulders….I no longer had to feel guilty about having a beautiful baby grand piano that I rarely played. I had a full life and had moved on from playing the piano, and it was time for someone else to experience the joy of playing. Now as far as downsizing the number of our family photos goes, even duplicates….that was another story…
I’m currently experiencing another “spiritual” facet of moving and “walking my talk”. After my big move out to San Francisco and living with roommates for the first 6 months, I have decided to move into a studio alone. I have prided my spirit of independence and “she walks alone” attitude upon moving out here. However, last night was my first night alone in my new apartment, and in all honesty, I was terrified. Not for my physical safety or anything of that nature, but it dawned on me all alone in my little studio for the first time since moving out here, how far away I am from almost everyone I love and who loves me. Living with roommates it was easy to distract myself and fill up the empty space left by my loved ones back east. Going to bed in my new apartment it was staring me in the face. I faced for the first time the reality that I don’t really have a safety net out here, and its truly sink or swim. Do I regret my decision to move into a studio and live alone? Do I regret moving to San Francisco? No, not at all, I’m totally thrilled. But it does put to the test the independent woman motif I’ve been wearing since leaving SC. Now I have to face the reality of my decision to move so far away from home and make it entirely on my own two feet. Yes, its scary and perhaps at times lonesome. But ultimately, its the most exciting thing I’ve ever done.
I think I just might cry at all of these great immediate responses. I think I’ve tapped into something a lot of us are experiencing.’
First of all, Tara (see above) is my daughter and I am so PROUD of her. Listen to her honesty. Hear her courage. You go Girl. Independence has levels. You’ve been independent since you were 12 years old. And you are never alone. However, you are alone in San Francisco. I know this is a big step. Good for you.
Bonnie, Sylvia, and Karyn – you are all inspiration to me. You’ve gone before me of making big changes. And you survived. Looking pretty good in the meantime. Bonnie, I have 8 big boxes of pictures. Karyn, I can give you some vases. They haven’t left for Goodwill yet. And Sylvia, have you moved yet? I loved your house but I get it why you’re leaving. These big houses take a lot of time and attention. Stay the course.
This is a hoot! Y’all are soooo inspirational… and I am so crazy! I sat down and logged on to tell you Kathy, that the Budget truck people got mixed up somehow–and I really am hoping you will let me take more stuff because I could take half of your house in this truck!!!I think they were trying to do me a favor by giving me a bigger truck–I had asked for the smallest one on the lot to move the things I am picking up tomorrow–just because Andy’s pick up truck is not quite big enough—and it is a friend (at Budget) so he told me this morning on the phone he had a really good deal for me–well I just saw the truck and to fill it I will have to pick up stuff on the way home from Charleston—soooo what I was sitting down to tell you is that I could move half your house tomorrow when I get there—(and not looking forward to driving this big truck in Charleston) And immediately I see all of the insipiration of people who have let go of the “stuff”. Hmmmmmmmmmmm what does that tell me?????
When we moved from Surfside to Conway years ago–which was originally my idea–we were both really happy about making the move–most of our life activity was taking place in Conway, we were basically just sleeping in Surfside—then it took 2 years to sell our Surfside house—so we were really glad when it sold and we were moving—HOWEVER—taking the last walk through the house I cried and cried–and I really could not understand my reaction–my wonderful husband said to me–“It is because we made such wonderful memories here—it has been a great home for us—of course you are sad to leave it” He was sooooooooooo right–so I just imagine that every vase you saved is the memory of someone special–or some occasion that was special–hard to let go of–same with the furniture and other stuff–it holds great memories for you—I totally get it!!! You are so smart and brave to keep your eye on the prize as you said–and to process all of the emotion—and just think another week you will be rejoicing in your down-sized lock and go condo!!!
Lahoma, you are so right. Every vase does have a memory. And as I packed them up, I remembered each flower delivery, each Christmas table, and so on. And you are also right on target when you realize that this is about taking the time to honor each of the emotions that go with this type of life transition. It is a wide range of emotions. From the feelings of emptiness and loss to the opposite feelings of space and freedom. This living business is fun, isn’t it?
Kathy- Congratulations on your decision! I have sat on the precipice for years now, thinking that I could not move because of my elderly kitty. She passed this May, and now I feel the pull even stronger! I must try to clear my mind, so I can see my path clearly. Since I have no family ties, sans husband and kids, I am truly able to do as I please. I wish a huge sign in red letters would manifest pointing me to my true place. Comments?
Are you open to seeing the signs? You’ve asked the powerful question, now step back and listen to the wisdom. And sometimes on the path you can just see next steps, not the entire path. You are so right – clear your mind, and whatever else needs to be cleared up in your life, and look for the next steps….and be brave.
I have moved nine times in the last six years, beginning with a divorce , living with friends to graduate school and seeking employment leading me to many new places. Along the way, I have given away many of my possessions.
When I visit the old friends and see things that once belonged to me, bits and pieces of a life gone, I have moments of loss. I try to think these things are gifts that have had rebirth in a new setting, like me.
Nan, one of the delights of this is that we have been selling a lot of our furniture to young couples who are moving from an apartment into their first new homes, while we are doing the reverse. Ah, the cycle of life. I bless each piece and pray for their happy lives with our STUFF.
Kathy-
Want to add an additional note today…about the power of shredding! Yesterday a friend emailed about a community-wide shredding service. Last month I burned eleven years of documents stored in the basement, yet when I learned about shredding, I decided to have another look into my filing cabinet. There, tucked away, were twelve years of performance reviews and other related documents, many with unpleasant memories. I grabbed a large tote and filled it to the brim, emptying the entire drawer! I could barely get it to the car. I had a pleasant chat with the organizer as those years of strife disappeared. Much to my surprise, when I returned to my office, the entire space feels lighter! Really!
I may have not found the “perfect” place to move, yet this small “action” has lightened my path ahead indeed.
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