Finding Sarah Ferguson, Finding Ourselves
I am hooked on Oprah Winfrey’s new series called Finding Sarah. Of course, I am talking about Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of Windsor. You know, the redheaded ex-princess with all the fame, the divorce, and the scandal. By her own accounting, she kinda’ made a mess out of her life.
Thanks to OWN, we now get to see behind the scenes of this woman’s journey back to herself. She’s been hooked up with some of the biggest and best teachers Oprah has to offer. And we get to walk side by side with her as she heals and grows, through all the insights to her ultimate transformation. It is quite remarkable.
Sarah’s brutal honesty and her willingness to be exposed and vulnerable is soul bearing. Her innocence shows up when she keeps asking, “Tell me where does one get self worth?” No matter who her teacher is, Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, Martha Beck and countless others, she’s willing to ask, “What’s that mean? I don’t get it.”
If it weren’t for the fact that she’s a princess or a duchess or whatever, she could easily be like the rest of us. Haven’t we all felt like that? When she says she doesn’t really know what caused her to do some of the things she’s done, we get it. We’ve all been there. Haven’t you ever felt hopelessly lost? I have.
In front of millions of viewers Sarah puts herself out there for the world to see. But this time, she’s in control. She’s not a victim. She has jumped in full force. And while she is scared, she is also fearless. In one episode I loved the way she stood up to Dr. Phil and said, “You’re supposed to be the brilliant one here, why don’t you just tell me?” Just like most women, she’s got that fire. Yet behind that fire, you can see the fear and the confusion in her eyes. She is not a dumb woman, she’s a wounded woman who is healing right in front of us.
The episode that deeply touched me and turned Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, into one of my heroes is the segment with Martha Beck, life coach extraordinaire.
She put Sarah in a pen with a scared, wild horse. Her assigned task was to calm the horse and train the horse to follow her. The horse was very skittish and unruly and didn’t obey any type of direction or orders. It was actually quite frightening.
What would you do? Think about it. How do you tend to react when you are in a skittish and scary experience? Martha Beck and an equine therapist taught Sarah how to stay centered within herself. They instructed her in how to tap into her own strength and calmness. They coached her to not react to the horse, to not be scared of the horse, and to not try to control the horse or the outcome. They showed her how to use her breath, her attention and how to focus on the core of her own being. Then, slowly, the horse began to calm down… and even began to follow.
Some people may think that the interesting part of this story is that the horse actually began to calm down just because Sarah calmed down. But, that’s not the best part... the best part is that Sarah experienced, first hand, and for the first time, what it meant to be grounded within herself – how to stay in her own power. And we got to watch it unfold. She was able to see the ripple effect on the horse and so did we. Amazing. Sarah got it. I got it. I think everyone got it.
So, please forgive me if you aren’t into reality TV, I’m not usually. But this is truly powerful stuff and I wanted to share it with you. When we can share the journey of someone else doing the work of finding themselves, it truly does have a ripple effect on our journeys as well.
Powerful Questions:
When you get lost or can’t find your way,
what tools or practices do you have?
How do you find your center?
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Tags: Dr. Phil, Equine therapy, Finding Sarah, Martha Beck, Oprah Winfrey, OWN, reality tv, Sarah Ferguson, Suze Orman
5 Responses to “Finding Sarah Ferguson, Finding Ourselves”
Even if you don’t like Sarah Ferguson, or reality TV, watching some of the work that these experts do with her is fascinating. The first part of this same episode was insightful too as we watched Sarah follow a string maze, blindfolded. All of her self-talk as she worked her way through the false starts, the traps, the wrong leads was very interesting. It was a brilliant exercise as she (and I) was able to see, in that moment, that she actually does have good instincts and skills and that she can trust herself. This is what is meant by empowerment. I spend eons of time trying to help women have this deep awakening. She got it from a string exercise! Do you trust your instincts and skills? How powerful do you feel?
Hi Dr. Kathy, WOW how interesting…I get it. Thank you for sharing this .
Love, Brenda
Kathy, thanks for sharing this! I loved OWN’s Shania Twain series “Why Not”….helping Shania find her singing voice again, while finding her inner voice…wasn’t sure I wanted to watch Fergie, but you’ve opened my eyes…thankfullly, OWN repeats all of these episodes. For any of you who haven’t seen Shania’s series, it’s well worth watching, and I used to work in the same practice with her therapist, Gordon Livingston….who knew?!
I happened upon this show one day and saw three or four episodes–and certainly hope to find more–not only is it fascinating watching Fergie unfold, but just seeing and learning the techniques that are being used and what one learns from the experiences is truly fascinating and educating!Fergie hasw amazing courage to unfold in public! Certainly hoping for powerful outcomes!
Watched the season finale last night….very satisfying to watch this woman come to terms with the choices she’s made in life. She realizes that she is making the choice to keep herself in the spot light and she must accept what comes with that. The question is is she strong enough and willing to give up the need for everyone to like her. The real question is does she like herself. I agree it’s not about the specifics of her life, it’s about if each of us are going to go through the inner process of taking responsibility for our lives and for being strong enough to live with the choices we’ve made, to forgive ourselves the bad ones, and to stand by the ones that others may not get…..
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