Where is Your Safe Space?

A safe space holds the dream of what we could be and nourishes the Possibility…” ~ Jean Shinoda Bolen, The Millioneth Circle

Everyone who is on a journey of personal and spiritual growth needs a safe space. A designated space or place, internal or external, where we can go to see ourselves, our lives, and each other. A place where we are willing to explore, maybe expose, maybe dream ~ freely. A place where we can tell the truth.

Safe spaces come in many different shapes and sizes.

Nothing makes me feel safer or more grounded than being by the water. ESPECIALLY the ocean. Sitting on a beach, oh my, I relax, let go, breathe deeper, and see things differently. The water soothes me and reminds me that all things ebb and flow.

I also have a safe space in my home. You probably do too. Mine is big overstuffed chair with an ottoman. A side table with books and music and favorite pens. A candle. A bookshelf with altar items and a small prayer bench that says The Truth Shall Set You Free. And did I say that it looks out over the water?

This beautiful safe spot is where I read, listen to music, pray, meditate, write in my journal and come to know myself.

Safe spaces don’t have to be literal.

A beautiful meditation practice can teach us how to access our inner world where we can find internal safe spaces. Because sometimes we just can’t get it out there in the world! Sometimes the only place we might be able to find peace is within.

I have this quote in two places in my house. I even have it on a coffee mug. “Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart (unknown).

There are a couple of sayings that take me immediately to an inner safe space. “This too shall pass”. When in the midst of chaos and despair, this is a good one. Another saying is from Louise Hay, “I love life and life loves me.”

Learning to simply be still, to breathe and be present can take me to a safe space immediately…. (if I remember to use it.) In my inner safe space, free of the incessant, negative chatter, I can think more clearly about who I really am, what’s really bothering me and what I really need.

A true gift is when we can find safe space in the presence of others.

When we can find a community, a group, or maybe just one other person, where we feel safe enough to be who we are – with all of our glory and all of our messiness – we have hit the payload for growth.

There are so many benefits to a safe group. You can see yourself through other’s eyes (and through their stories). In a safe space with others, where you don’t feel judged, you can openly and honestly explore. You don’t ask to be fixed or analyzed or told what to do. You simply need a mirror to reflect back to you your own wisdom and beauty.

When talking to others, we can also hear ourselves better. We talk a lot – yet we don’t listen. One of the tools I use in my work with people is recording their sessions for them. Invariably, when they stop and listen to themselves, they can hear their own voices. Maybe for the first time.

I pray for each of you that you have relationships, partnerships, marriages, girlfriends, therapists, coaches, ministers, church groups, women’s groups, family….and that all of these are safe places for you to be who you really are. Safe places for you to let down the facades, drop the mantle, catch your breath, and remember what makes you happy. A safe space where you can remember who you really are and the life you are meant to be living.